It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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