i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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