Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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