Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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