When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
