Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
