is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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