turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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