He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
