I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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