I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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