so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Green mimosas i think yes
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
