i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
