we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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