So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
