I'm jealous of your bromance
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
