Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it's great music for shaving your balls
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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