I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My dick has a subreddit
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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