I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
