another moral hangover. fuck.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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