Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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