I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
