dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
