I think im going to throw up on grandma
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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