If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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