Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Randomize
