2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think pants incapable of making pants work
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
