You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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