When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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