I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
