I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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