im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
