Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Randomize
