i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
