After last night, I could never be a politician.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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