Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
