we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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