after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
