Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
