Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just pee around me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
