Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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