I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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