Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She made me pour olive oil on her.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
