omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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