Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
