Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
