He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
