So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
