Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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