If i come over, it means nothing
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
